Thursday, May 3, 2012

Chapter 5: The Ex...

WARNING: The following story is for Mature Audiences for Language, Content & Adult Situations. Reader Discretion is Advised.

Author's Notes: This Fictional Story and Characters, Jin and Jasmine, and all other Characters are Exclusively Copyright Protected and the Property of Robert Darrien... Enjoy!!!

by Robert Darrien

Shocked and completely taken by surprise by the familiar man’s voice on the phone, Jasmine just held the phone to her ear and said nothing in reply. An awkward silence filled the air.

 “Hello… hello… Jasmine,” said the man. 

A sudden surge of mixed emotions ran through her head. Surprised that it wasn’t Jin, she felt all the old emotions stirring up from deep inside her.

“Yes Jamal. What do you want,” she said in a stern, commanding tone.

“Why you sound like that? You can at least say hi to me. We haven’t talked in a minute. What you been up to,” Jamal said in a playful kind of way.

“Why do I sound like this? Are you kidding me? You cheated on me with another girl and you expect me to be just fine cuz you called out of the blue?”

“I know. I’m sorry. It was a mistake. You know I love you, right,” he said in a soft, smooth tone.

She heard it all before. The old Jasmine would have fell for it but she learned from her past mistakes and was moving on with her life. Most girls would fall for the ‘I love you’ line or the part of the conversation where the ex would bring up old memories or maybe even the ‘remember when we used to go to this or that place’ line. She knew better though.

“Now you love me, huh? Whatever! You really loved me when you were cheating on me, right? I don’t have time for this,” Jasmine said.

“Well, what do you expect? I want to get some and you weren’t giving me any. It’s all your fault. I have needs and you weren’t taking care of them,” he said in reply. 

“It’s always about sex with you. You think a woman is supposed to have sex with you whenever you want? News for you, that might be okay for some women but that’s not what a relationship is all about, especially for me. You don’t want to go to college, you don’t have a job, you don’t have any ambitions to better yourself, and all you do is hang out with your friends and do nothing. I want better for myself and apparently you aren’t it. By the way, you’re horrible in bed.”

Anger and surprise shook Jamal straight to his core.

“You’re just saying that just because you’re mad. You know you love how I wear you out,” he said with a chuckle trying to hide the anger swelling inside.

“You think so? You think just cuz you stick it in that’s how to please a woman? Sorry Jamal, you’re sadly mistaken. You’re so selfish that you didn’t realize that the whole time we were together I’ve been faking it. You’ll be lucky to figure out how to even use your tongue let alone anything else."

"That's not what you said when we were gettin it in in my room. I can still remember how bad I had you moaning and screaming off my dick," he said with smile.

"That's why it's called faking. You swear just cuz you have a dick that you can satisfy a woman. It takes more than that but I guess you wouldn't know anything about that. Imagine how I felt having to put up with your weak, lame, one minute sex that couldn't even get me off. A real man knows how to please a real woman and that's what I am. By the way, your weak sex might explain why we didn't have sex that much. I don't even think I've ever gotten off by you and in your own words "I have needs and you're not taking care of them" so maybe I'll find someone who can."

Jasmine knew right after she said it. She shouldn't have said that to him. She wanted their old relationship to just stick to Jasmine and Jamal's issues and not Jasmine and whoever she was seeing. She was just so tired of everything that he put her through, she wanted to make him feel even the slightest amount of pain as payback.

After hearing those last words escape Jasmine's lips, Jamal's playful attitude completely changed into jealousy and anger.

"You're seeing someone now?  It better not be that asian guy that dropped you off," he said in an accusing tone.

"Don't tell me what to do. Don't worry about who I see or don't see. Just because you live across the street doesn't give you the right to spy on me."

"Whatever.  That's why you and your Asian boyfriend got pulled over for smoking weed," Jamal said in a sarcastic way.

"Weed," Jasmine thought. "How did he know?"

Jasmine started putting the pieces together and just remained quiet for a second.

"The cops said they got a report from someone saying that there was a car smoking weed.  How did you know about that? It was you wasn't it."

Jamal replied in a sarcastic way, "No. Maybe it was someone else."

Jasmine knew he was lying and that just confirmed it.

“Did you know what I went through? Do you know what those cops did to me?  And to find out you had something to do with it.  Don't talk to me,” she screamed into the phone.

Jasmine slammed her finger on the 'End Call' button.

Thinking to herself, "What do I do now?  Should I tell Jin that the person who called the cops on us was Jamal?  If I tell him, will he be mad?  If I don't tell him, what will he think if he finds out?"

Suddenly her phone rang and Jin's name appeared on the Caller ID.

>>>>> TO BE CONTINUED...???


  1. Oh shit...Jamal is the definition of a cuntrag. Loved this chapter...I knew he had something to do with it...Keep up the amazing work, can't wait for the next chapter!
    Please don't make us wait too long (;

    1. >>>>> Thank you Jemeelaa!!!!!! I really appreciate you reading it. You're 1st to leave a comment. Thank you for your support. :)

  2. Awesome chapter, so Jamal was behind the whole thing. Wow and they live across from each other, this is going to br interesting. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Keep them coming :)

    1. >>>>> Thank you Drea!!!!! Yeah, Jamal was the person who called the cops. He slipped up but it's what ex's do sometimes to the extreme. I really appreciate you reading. :)

  3. OMG..Please continue! I need more..and i love the names of the characters.

    1. >>>>> Thank you MissNatasha2011!!!! I really appreciate your on-going support. I had a few different names for the characters but I ended up with those. :)

  4. Jamal needs to have several seats. Whether beaten with them, or buried under them, he needs to have several.

    1. lol. Thank you LeoPrincess for reading!!! I really hope you like the story, plot, and characters so far. :)

  5. Jasmine, tell Jin the truth. Don't lie about it and don't hide it.

    Fuck Jamal.

    1. >>>>> Thank you Amaya!!!! It always seems that an ex happens to pop up at just the wrong time. They must have a sick sense for when people are happy. lol.

  6. Sounds like Jamal needs a good Roshambo to the nuts and a swift uppercut to the chin (fist or fsteel toed boots is at the persons discreation.)

    Love your story so far.

    1. >>>>> Thank you DN!!!!! I really appreciate you taking the time to read it. Hope you enjoy and can support some of my other works. :)

  7. My goodnesss - check out the fan club here! rockstar...with all yo' "J" names....

    1. >>>>> Thank you @ankhesen!!!! It means the world to me that you and Amaya believe and support me. You're incredible thoughts and advice help push me forward. Thank you so much. :)

  8. Oh I know that the ex would be no good but dang he takes it to another level.

    And Jasmine, please tell Jin what Jamal did.
    Girl you don't want to start a relationship off with lies or omissions, it will cause nothing but Trouble.

    I'm so loving this story!!!

    Keep it up!

  9. i never understand in wich love book of the century that men think it's okay to use two two sentence together." i am sorry but you know i love you". if you love me why you do think so you have to say sorry? i dont get it.i think Jamal should get lost.Jamal is geting under my skin with is stupid line" it's all you faul" you know i llove you" you know i wear you out". why can a man let a woman tell you how good you are in bed? so Jamal is a ASS and the writter got me real good i can't belive he call the cops. thats good... danm Jamal you bad guys...a part of me want to say dont tell Jin because you dont want him to think you have crazy ex calling police on him but in the other hand you have to start with honesty and trust. i think she should be honest to Jin and trust him to like for her and not punish her for her past or scare by some crazy ex..... i love this sorry i worry about jamal what he might do ! a black men ego. Jasmine be honest

  10. Robert I am so sorry! I haven't read this chapter at all till now! *guilt creeps in* D:. Anyway! Feedback time! I believe that you have really shown Jasmine's growth here. She is no longer seen as flat character but as a round character that has faced challenge in hard past and decided not to follow through the temptation to relapse. What I have noticed is how inconsistent Jasmine is. This chapter she said she has learned from her past relationships yet last chapter she was the one who invited Jin in. This shows her weakness to men she loves which is a behavior she probably had in her other relationships (it’s the “I will give you my all because I love you” mentality that some women have). I think you were dead on it with this! Many girls say they changed from what they used to be yet exhibit old traits in their new relationships. You are showing a real girl. Jasmine is someone a girl could imagine herself to be. You seem to have read Aristotle's "Poetics" because you're building a perfect tragedy story with this chapter. Like any tragedy, the main character is left with a choice where one leads to their demise. Since the audience has already grown attached to Jasmine and Jin they feel anticipation, pity, and fear. Worried as to what will happen to "them" (Jasmine). Really! Fantastic! Well thought out! I give you 5 stars on your writing ability! I love how Jamal is a sharp contrast to Jin. Almost like how Paris is to Romeo and Macduff is to Macbeth.
    I know I’ve been bringing up this link a lot. Lol but there’s this page that talks about characteristics one should seek in a “good mate” I think it will be excellent for you to look over and try to add some of these characteristics to Jin and Jasmine later in the story. It will help with the building of good traits. Especially with Jasmine since she will eventually abandon her bad dating habit. Keep up the good work. From one writer to another, you’re fantastic. I hope this feedback helped.

  11. Robert, why have you lead us to this cliff knowing, damn well we can't back up now, lol. When are you going to finish?

  12. I should have known it would be a loser to do such a conniving deed like that. I'm pissed off and if I was Jasmine, I would tell Jin. What an asshole, lol. Don't leave us hanging, I know I want more :-)